Need To Get Back In Things ... and Stuff

This blog was originally intended to make me consider my anxiety more frequently and think of ways to overcome it. Lately, I haven't wanted to do anything, though. I feel very low on energy and ambition. I still want things but I don't want to work toward them. I don't know if this is a natural period of rest or a minor depression. I've been resting for weeks and I still don't feel more energized. I had an article idea that I loved, but I've once again given up after the rough draft.

I need something...

Noon to Four

I'm going to get through work today and then I can come home to write. I'm thinking about writing a fiction story based on my seventh grade experience with being teased, pranked, and tormented by a clique of popular girls. It was a nightmare for me and it made my social anxiety so much worse. Not only did I get this after starting at a new school, I had to go through high school with those same bitches. I think it'll feel good to write about it.

Rolling Downhill

I've been feeling my mood slip down for a few days and today I truly felt depressed. I went to dinner with Wright and the whole time I was fighting to keep my mood up. Later we ran to the store for a few things and then went out for coffee where I started to have trouble holding up.

There's no way I know of to avert depression, but I'm glad that my mood swings aren't very dramatic. I'll figure out what'll make me feel better, but sometimes this just happens and maybe I just need to cry and beat my pillow. Stress. It's shitty.

I think this has been coming on for a few weeks but because I was working out I postponed it. My workout was cancelled this week so I think the depression finally caught up with me.

I think next time you hear from me I'll be great. Happy and positive. Send me some positive vibes though. I could use 'em.