Breathing Again

Today was so hectic I barely had a chance to think. I made it to both of my interviews, however, and my sources were very sweet and helpful.

I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to get a bottle of wine. Usually I don't drink, and it's not that I feel like I "need it," but it sounds nice.

Today is Wright's birthday. I might surprise him with a cake.

Prepping For Q & A

I'm getting prepared for my interviews tomorrow. I'll be meeting with 2 UTC alums to talk about finding employment in the current economic atmosphere. So far I haven't come up with anything fantastic in the way of questions. I guess I'm not real sure what my focus is in this story. I need to work a little harder on getting a good direction for my inquiries.

I'm not as nervous right now about the actual interviewing as I am about making it to both interviews on time and then to work right after. I'll be beat tomorrow afternoon for sure, but I hope I'll have everything I need.

First Story!

My media writing professor assigned me a real story today. I'll get to do my first 2 interviews ever next week! I'm so excited. This is new to me and I think it'll do great things for my writing.

On top of that, it's going to be published in the alumni newsletter. I may have missed the deadline for my own topic, but I'll soon get something I've written out for the public, albeit a small portion of the public and for free. But I don't care. I just want practice and an opportunity to branch out.

I must admit, I'm nervous about the interviews. I want to be professional, but also personable. I think I'll put too much pressure on myself so I'm going to try not to. I have to get prepared! I need to go into these interviews with some good background info and a direction for the piece.

Missed A Deadline

It's the 20th and I haven't submitted anything. I wish things had turned out as they were supposed to, but it's okay; I'll get something out there very soon. I promise.

I'm getting excited about reporting. I can't wait to take more classes and eventually get an internship with a media publication. I'm also getting interested in activism against the food industry, specifically factory farms. I want to do something with my writing that draws attention to the conditions of the animals and the treatment of the meat people put into their bodies every day -- sometimes at every meal. I want my message to impact people and go far. I stopped eating meat about a month ago, and I watched the documentary Food, Inc. last night, which made me very happy I made that decision.

I need to do more research about libel laws before I say anything in the media, and I need to know more of the facts. But this is important.

Back To It

I've been absent for some time because of a very hectic schedule. I had to get back into a routine after my move, and while I'm still adjusting to the changes, I feel very good about what's happened recently.

I have to mention that I have my first niece. Lindsay Noelle Smith was finally born to my older sis and her husband. She's healthy, perfect, and completely adorable. I can't wait to see her in person.

I love my media writing class. I struggled to keep up at first because I was juggling two classes, but I dropped one so that I could focus better. This class, and the great professor, will teach me so much about writing for mass media.

I'm about to start work, so I'll have to wait until later to share more details, but I'll be back soon!

Jitters and Other First Day Things

So far I'm two classes down for the day and I already have lots of homework to get to.

I'm worried about the class tonight, but I know it'll be better than I imagine it will be.

In one of my classes we had to tell something interesting about ourselves, which made me freak out inside, but I just said that I'm thinking about becoming a librarian, that people always used to tease me about my last name, and that I'm not going into education because I'm not comfortable speaking in front of people and I never will be. The class is aimed for education majors, so I felt I should mention that, but the teacher said that's fine and took note of my public speaking comment. I'm glad. I wanted to use that opportunity to mention my anxiety, since the prof will require us each to do a few short lessons for the class. I'm feeling a little less nervous . . . but only a little.

Omigod Omigod Omigod

I'm trying to keep from having a panic attack. I just read the syllabi for two of my classes. We'll be doing presentations. I hate this. I haven't even gone to class yet and I'm already thinking about dropping them. I can't let myself do this. I hate classroom presentations so much and these are 400-level classes with higher expectations. I know that I'm just feeling insecure and I should just trust my intellect here, but I can't help it. I feel like a child trying to fit in with the grown-ups.

I need to follow through and I need to do the best I can. This will be good for me, right? I'm not going to worry about writing deadlines for now. . . unless it's related to a class. Things just got interesting.

Title

I want to change the title of my blog. I think about anxiety every day, because I experience it every day, but I don't necessarily want to write about it every day. I'd prefer to blog about writing and overcoming anxiety, and since I pretty much already do, I just need to change my title or subtitle. Any suggestions?

To change the subject, I've realized recently that I very much love being independent. The last relationship I was in was unhealthy, and I know that when I meet the right guy it won't feel like I'm giving up my freedom, but being single again is a relief. I hated having to tell someone what I was doing and who I was going out with. I don't like working at a relationship and giving up time that I can be writing or doing something else for myself. I'm selfish, but I'll change when I find someone who makes me want to.

I'm rereading Jane Eyre. I love that book. This is my third time reading it and I love it even more than before.

Come on baby!

I love summer. I had planned on working on a novel this summer after the article, but I'm giving the idea I was going to write to the person I was collaborating with. It was his idea in the first place. I have another idea but I'll have to develop it for a little while before I start. School starts in a few days so I plan on working on characters and conflict until a couple months from now when I'll have more time.

I was just thinking about the summer before last. I spent most of my time during those months in my apartment. I was miserable at home, but afraid to go out. It was hard for me to think of things to do that didn't involve talking to people. I'm so glad I don't feel that way anymore. I'm looking forward to enjoying Chattanooga's beautiful weather.

Also . . . My niece is almost here! (hence the title of today's blog) My awesome sister, Theresa, is in the first stages of labor with her little girl. I'm so excited to see her at last. I can't wait!