Sad Day

I just received an email from the professor who is coordinating the scholarships for the English department. She told me that I will not be awarded any of the scholarships. I want to cry, but I need to be happy that I gave it a try. I really wanted to win this, and I would have loved to have some financial help through my last semester, but it'll be okay. I'll be fine.

It's hard not to associate this with negativity. I try to put myself out where I can risk failure or success and I hope for the latter, but it's not easy to succeed sometimes. This is discouraging, but I know eventually I'll be rewarded for everything I've gone through. I have to believe that.

I also just registered for my last semester. Fiction workshop and feature writing, along with three anthropology classes. Both writing classes sound like great learning experiences for me, and I have Approach to Composition this summer which will also help me write better.

Two and a half more weeks of this semester. I've gotten a lot out of these past few months. I love school, I love learning, but I hope that after it's over I can use everything I've learned to write the things I've always wanted to write. And that I will be able to devote the time to those projects at last. I want to think about writing today, not a "stable job," because I need to be positive and writing is what makes me happy.