Keep Talking Blah, Blah, Blah

I need to see my counselor. I'm feeling great, so it's not that I'm on the verge of a meltdown or anything (I've had a meltdown before, though. It's a memorable experience.), it's just that counseling has been helpful for me. I remember when my counselor, Angel, helped me connect some of my childhood experiences to my most difficult social situations. And when I finally realized that low self-esteem was the center of my anxiety issues. Until then I didn't realize that I caused my problems by perpetuating negativity about myself. I thought people were my enemy, but I'm harder on myself than anyone ever was or ever will be.

I haven't seen Angel in about three weeks . . . actually, maybe four come to think of it. I cancelled my last appointment to work on homework, but I need to reschedule. I have so much to tell her. In five days I hope to cross something off of my list of fears. Working out on my own allows me to be more independent and it allows me to relieve stress that anxiety brings on. I'll continue to work up to public speaking, although I haven't figured out a safe crowd to start with (besides the social anxiety group at school). I want to see if she has any ideas for me.

I know people who have given up on counseling because of a bad experience, and that bothers me. I was lucky that I had a great person right from the start, but I encourage anyone who is working through their issues to look for the right counselor. It really makes a difference. Sometimes it takes a while to find just the right person who can see what really hurts you, though.