Yeah, I Play Around With Words Sometimes

It's fun to put words together and see how they sound. Lately I've been putting Boggle words together as poems and seeing what they make. It makes me happy.

Romance in the Rubble

He shat atop a tire,
A homemade toilet seat
As I talked with him of friends
Of money and of better things.
We two enjoyed the setting day
In our sheltered garbage heap.

"Bring me the rosiest and broadest
Of those leaves in yonder spray,"
He said,
"And I'll finish up and take you
To the Old Country Buffet."

So our evening plans were made,
In the scarce autumn shade,
As he shat atop a tire,
A homemade toilet seat.

After a Grope

Stout and sweaty
She nods her head
To the beat
Dry, dirty snot on her lip
Beer slosh to each
Bump to her hip
Soot on her ass
From the rub
And riding on the den
Hearth cold and
Clothes flung
Minutes ago now

Leering through the
Smoky blue music mire
She slaps her thigh
And bats her eye

Shallow Grave

Fuck a slob
Deep in the woods
Suck the fat lobes
The vogue love-beat

Handing the goods
With a slap
Snapping the log and
Gushing wet sap
The still wood goes
To bed

I crunch the nuts as
Tripping back in
Dark passages bated
With the beating of
Wings like breath
I helm your death

Let's Make a Date

So, people, I've set a date for my immersion into the gym ALONE. On April 1st, that's right, TWO WEEKS from now is the day. (I don't want to overdo it with exclamation points so I guess I'm going a little CAP crazy.) I'm scared, but I can do it! (There I go.)

My plan is to psyche myself up for it and actually have a checklist I have to mark off as I go. It is as follows:

1. a few laps on the track
2. do weights on my quads and triceps
3. stair machine

Then I'm done. It's not a major workout, but it's definitely something and it gets me moving around the place. I just have to focus on my work. I've got get over this fear and exercise is really great for anxiety. I've noticed an improvement in myself since I started working out.

I want to do classes eventually. I'm hoping to go to yoga classes in the future. One step at a time. I don't know if it's quieter in the morning or the evening. . . probably early.

Wish me luck!

Look Good, Feel Good

I've been doing two hundred crunches and ten push-ups everyday this week. I'm trying to make exercise a routine. I read in the Anxiety Book that exercise benefits anxiety sufferers by not only releasing stress, but also improving and affirming self-esteem.

I think it makes sense that if you care about yourself, you take care of your body. That's why I'm trying to stick to the daily plan I have now because it's easy, then I'll gradually add more to the routine. I'm just worried that I won't make it a routine and I'll quit when the stress gets too bad.

I've been feeling great lately and the exercise gives me energy. Unfortunately, it hasn't helped me focus and get my assignments done. Tomorrow I'll try to get caught up with my work.

Blah, Monday

I skipped my first class of the day after my counseling appointment. I just wasn't prepared for the workshop.

I'm proud to say that I'm not afraid to participate in workshop, partly because I think the professor, Rebecca, is awesome. I have to submit my story (which I haven't gotten around to writing yet) later this week and the class will be work shopping it next week. A little scary still to be the one work shopped, I have to admit.

I have yet to go to the gym by myself. Yes, I know that sounds stupid, but it's a huge fear of mine. I'm afraid to work out by myself. I think everyone is watching me. I'm determined to get over this fear, though, which is why I asked my ex-husband to be my personal trainer. We met last week to work out at the faculty/staff gym and that was a good hour. I hadn't really exercised in months! I felt so good. I really want to get over this fear so I can go more often, but as it is we can only meet once a week.

This week I need to pull myself together. Wednesday I work out again and I need to focus on relaxing. I need to pull my paper together by Friday and not get nervous about what readers will think. I really need some strength. . .